My worries about the business were compounded by worries about my daughter’s education. We had just learned that she is neurodivergent, and learning to understand and meet her needs was proving hard enough – but encouraging her to learn during lockdowns, over an iPad, was hopelessly unrealistic. Over those months, Vicci and I would be making new business pitch after new business pitch, bringing in the work that would protect our business, but all the while I’d be near to tears, having to mute myself when situations at home became emotional. It regularly took three adults to support my daughter with her learning. Somehow, throughout this, we kept the work coming in, including another major project with yet another of the top five tech companies in the world.
Since much of my day was spent supporting my daughter, I found myself working late nights, regularly until one or two in the morning. Even weekends. But, of course, this routine – on top of everything else – took a huge toll. Just when I felt I was at breaking point, my grandpa contracted COVID. And, after several difficult months, he passed away. I felt as if I was drowning. I honestly didn’t know how I’d get through the days.
At that point, I had to listen carefully to myself, to what my mind and body were telling me, to understand what I needed to survive. And I realized that I needed some structure around me that would hold me up. I spoke to therapists, and to a doctor who helps families support neurodiverse children. I leaned on my au pair, who did so much to support my daughter. I bit the bullet and hired a trainer to help with my physical and mental health – we even got a dog, Coco, a wholly positive presence who made sure we as a family spent time together in the great outdoors.
I realized: foresight is a superpower. Being able to step back, look at a situation, and see the puzzle pieces that need to fit together in order to make things happen – it’s a skill I use all the time with clients, when I think about how to get their product from a sketch and out into the world. It’s also a superpower to be able to ask for help. As women, we often feel like we should ‘do it all’. But the reality is, many of the puzzle pieces I needed were people, and it’s only by relying on them that I was able to get through this period. Finally, with the right support structures around me, I had the strength to throw myself back into the design work – which in turn brought me joy and made me stronger still.
In some ways, I’m amazed at the quality of work we put out during this period. Clients were thrilled. And, in a year when millions lost their jobs, we hired three fantastic women. But it was only possible thanks to those around me, who gave me their support when I needed it most.